AHH it finally caught up with me

Every Fall I HAVE to get a sinus infection. It is pretty much a ritual or something. It never fails and this time its bad!

Ok the severity is partially my fault because this weekend was homecoming so Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I was wasted. Then for the grand finale Friday I spent all day outside in the cold dampness making the float and then Saturday was the big day that ended up with praying to the porcelain gods.

So yesterday and today I've done pretty much nothing but blow my nose and drink tea. Well starting on Kleenex box number 2 I was looking at the bottom of the box and there are DIRECTIONS!!!!

Yes Directions On The Bottom Of A Kleenex Box!
and I Quote:

Directions for Use: It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Use only as a facial tissue.

Ok, so I'll give them that they are anti-virus tissues BUT reading this aloud to my fiance and his roommate they came up with the other colorful uses of tissues such as wiping your ass and jacking off.

Never needing them for the latter I found this hilarious, but we all know we've found ourselves in the situation where albeit doing #1 or #2 you have looked over and saw hanging on the wall nothing but cardboard. Being inventive human beings you look behind you and grab a hand full of tissues and "clean up"

Well according of my Kleenex box this is now a federal offense! Which if the FBI or CIA or SWAT or who ever bust in on me with a handful of tissues I guess I will be guilty of 2 counts of illegal tissue use.