Awkward

Today was probably the most awkward day of my life....

For one reason or another we had to get the boy's ex wife's name off of the deed for the house.
So I called attorneys in the area and got him an appointment to get the deed rewritten then we would mail some paperwork to her and she would sign it get it notarized and send it back and everything would be fine!

Well... It just happened that shes in town for Christmas and she could come and sign the paperwork her self,

OH YEAH also they were divorced a while ago but some how they were married in two different states... (I know only in my life do these things happen)

So the boy was going to pick her up, go to the appointment, get her name off of the deed and hopefully get divorced for real and come see her dog for a bit.

Well, he got off of work early and would be here 3 hours early for the appointment

So I had to clean the entire house before they got here, tried to look all pretty but they got here EARLIER than expected so my hair was half curled and half straight.... so I just pulled it up in a pony tail and looked like crap....

The boy wanted lunch so he went to the store and left us both here alone. This could have been really bad because I'm not a fan of cheaters or her for that matter even before I met her. I'm sure that if the circumstances were different we would be friends but they weren't and making small talk was impossible for the 30 mins he was gone.

The hardest thing was seeing them sitting on the couch with the dog in between them like they would have sat back when they were married.... I felt like the third wheel with my fiancee and his ex wife...

I'm going to stop rambling now they've been gone for 30 mins and I still feel awkward...

oh yeah and after venting to my mother that they werent offically divorced she called me a hussie.....

Dec. 4

Best book of 09 was definitely "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. I had stopped reading for a while and then the boy let me borrow it to read it and I LOVED IT. I was going to lend it to my mother when she was in the hospital recovering from a surgery, but I decided a book about a man before his death was not the best thing to read while in the hospital. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a emotional roller coaster book. I'm one of those people who immerse themselves in a book and feel like you're living their life.

Best Restaurant Moment of 09!

This is a tough one...

I don't just have one but last spring every other Thursday Pat's family would get together and have dinner at his aunt's restaurant. At first, it was kind of intimidating because I didn't know anyone yet, but after a few weeks It was fun! There would always be some interesting discussion or we would be planning something (like the trip to Boston) and it was a great way for me to get to know his family!

PS.. WE GOT A NEW PUPPY! we've had her for a couple of weeks but here's a few pics!

Roxy the night we got her!

Roxy and the Christmas Tree.... this is going to be a long month...

Roxy and her big bro, Gir, playing, she follows him EVERYWHERE!

The best of 2009 blog challenge (we'll see how this goes...)

Sooooo, I'm going to try this so here goes day one!

The best trip of 2009!

I would have to say my best trip of 2009 was going to the beach with my family in August. My parents, my sister and her friend Brittany drove down the night before and stopped half way there and stayed over night. The boy, my brother, his friend Ryan and I left early the next morning. We met my aunt and uncle and their two kids at the place we were staying. We had so much fun I've never laughed so much in my life. We enjoyed awesome food, the boys caught fresh shrimp which was AMAZING. The boy made an awesome fish dinner. We also at at really good restaurants two nights. We went to the beach every day and the we couldn't have asked for better weather. This was just a trip filled with good friends good food and good fun! (and a ton of new inside jokes!)

Serious Question for Y'all

Hi,
I know is been a while and a lot of my posts start like this but, I have an honest to goodness question for you.

Would you move to space given the option?

The boy and I were watching one of those 2012 shows the other night, and they were talking about the world ending and that an option to saving humanity was to move people to space weather on a planet or a free floating space station. I'm not big on believing the whole "THE WORLD IS GOING TO END" thing, my theory is if it is going to happen it is going to happen and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

When the subject came up I thought about it for a minute and then asked the boy, "If we had the chance would you want to move the family to space even if we had kids?" He said yes and I agreed. I was a big fan of the Disney Xenon movies (no one probably knows what I'm talking about). I just think it would be cool to be on the "new frontier," obviously I would want to wait to make sure it was safe and everything before moving my family there but I am all for it!

Anyone have an opinion?

Ps. they found water on the moon....

Sleepless In Pittsburgh

I woke up at 6 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep so this is what I've been doing for the last hour

Listening to police scanner... Most interesting so far is some chick came running out of a building naked and got bitch slapped by some dude (house was said to be a drug house not G20 Related )

Reading G20 Tweets.... A lot of tweets in foreign language, or numerous RTs... and people misspelling Pittsburgh... BOO!

More later!

This is what I do when I'm nervous

I pick the nail polish off of my nails...

I just painted them yesterday, but I'm sure they'll look like this until fricken G20 is over... Just me and the puppy for an entire week :-(

"Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
Talking with strangers, waiting in line..
I'm through with these pills that make me sit still.
"Are you feeling fine?"
Yes, I feel just fine.

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous
Like cleaning the oven or checking my tires
Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling..
Head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire!" ~Motion City Soundtrack "Everything is Alright"

... I don't like this at all....

So, I won't drive downtown by myself because I'll get lost no matter if I had Myron Cope's ghost in my passenger seat (we miss you!), but I LOVE being in THE CITY. I love the energy, I love the landscape, I love all the interesting buildings (we don't have these things in where-da-heck-r-we, PA). Pittsburgh is a BEAUTIFUL city.

This is why I don't like the G-20 Summit coming to "my" city. I could care less about the crusty old rich guys meeting and deciding decisions about god knows what ( I probably should know but I'm broke enough not to care, and uninterested). What I am interested in/upset about is the protesters!

Do you people HONESTLY think that making a ruckus and destroying things is going to make anyone listen to you. YOU ACT LIKE CHILDREN! and children that act like this get disciplined. Most of you are adults (or children drug into this way of life by delusional adults and I am deeply sorry for you come live with me I don't throw poop at people like monkeys) and are either arrested or injured because of responsible people took oaths to protect our city our state and our country. If you don't like the way these countries run FUCKING LEAVE! We don't want you here as much as you hate everything.

Honestly I understand protesting when strikes happen and things like that but other than that you look like overgrown emo kids "I hate everything." Why don't you all get together and buy an Island and run your "ANARCHIST" groups there... I don't really understand anarchist groups because they still have leaders and such soooo.... doesn't that go against your whole purpose?

This video scares me I'm afraid for the city, the people that live in the city, and the people (that I may not know or the ones I live and work with)who maybe by choice or not have to deal with the overgrown emo kids.

OHHH BOY DO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY

So, for the first time since probably 1999, I watched the MTV VMAs....

I WILL NOT COMMENT ON KANYE BEING A DOUCHE 1 because everyone else has and 2 he's like a toddler they make a scene so they get attention but here is a link of his other douche baggery episodes.

also this is fake but funny!

haha and this too sorry I'M DONE REALLY

SO on to the cool stuff that happened...

The beginning of Beyonce's performance gave me a flash back of an old school hit

Beyonce

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

JLO

I haven't decided if I like lady gaga yet or not but her performance was really interesting!

Lady Gaga - New Music - More Music Videos

MY FAVORITE was Pink!

P!nk - New Music - More Music Videos

I LOVE EMINEM's hair dark I've always had a secret weird attraction to him idk why but yeah mmmmmmmm hello!....(ok his eyes are a lil crazy here but its all good)



OH and on the issue of hair I love Kristen Stewart's hair cut even though she pretty much sucks as an actress




Oh on suckage Katy Perry ruined that song BUT I want her outfit for a halloween costume or somthing?




And I am highly annoyed with Russel Brand I never liked him except in That Adam Sandler movie Bedtime Story....

Ohhh ow ow ow!

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Yes, It's another one of "those" posts...

Ever since I can remember I've always got chills when I hear "The Star Spangled Banner"

I loved family day at the base and I got to go see what daddy did when he was at work

When we would pick up dad after he was deployed on a trip I would yell "DADDY" every time someone in uniform would walk past the car (I was obviously VERY Young)

Sitting in Mrs. Custer's Fundamentals of Physics and Chemistry class beside Heather and Jake and Matt and Zach were behind us the classroom TV turned on automatically. It really was like the world stopped turning... Matt and Zach didn't try to steal the notes out of Heather and my back pockets Mrs. Custer was sitting up front looking confused because the class was actually behaving for once (she couldn't see or hear that the TV was on she was one of "those" teachers). The teachers didn't teach that day, no one threw pickles on the windows in the cafeteria, we went through our normal schedule going from class to class, then sat down and watched the news. There were no announcements made I suppose it was all understood.

On the walk home we didn't go through all the notes we had written for each other and talk about how cute Jeremy's butt looked in his "south pole" jeans or why Jon and I were broke up again we just walked. It seems weird now but then, we didn't know what to say. We went to Lindsey's house like we did everyday hoping to see TRL to gain that normalcy we were looking for, even with MTV there was no relief for the next 48 hours watching the same clips over and over again. When we signed on the Internet there were pictures of it everywhere you clicked.

Dad didn't come home that night, the base was on lock down for safety and mission requirements, he came home the next evening. We refueled the fighter jets that flew up and down the coast. (well ok we still do)

I can't say I was scared, I can't say I was awestruck, it was more of a numbness when you can't feel anything you just watch hoping that it was somewhere else hoping that it was fake that it didn't really happen. But, it did and it sunk in in the passing weeks.

I didn't join the military because of the 9/11 attacks it was just something that was on my path. That feeling of this is where I'm supposed to be. I enjoyed basic training as weird as it sounds. I need someone else to push me, I need someone to tell me I can't do something so I can prove them wrong and when I do you better take note.

August 7, 2004 was when I made my oath of enlistment. June 28, 2005 was when I left for basic training. August 12, I graduated basic training, October 19, 2005 I left Texas after finishing Tech school. November 28, 2008 I was deployed to Guam. December 31, 2008 I came home from Guam.

I look at that and say that's it! That's all I've done...



I have so much left to do!





My family and I at my dad's retirement breakfast!




I've never felt I needed to write about that day since the night of 9/11/2001 until now, everything in between seems so cloudy compared to the memories of that day.

When You Realize School Is Keeping You Sane...

Obviously, I'm still unemployed. Luckily I started school a couple weeks ago. I have 3 internet classes. At first I was terrified of these classes, but now I check these more than I check Facebook.... I enjoy them because I don't have to sit in class and listen to some teacher drone on reading the power point that came with the book verbatim. And those people that are constantly interrupting asking questions!

I don't have a problem with people asking questions but when every other slide change their hand goes up and they open their mouth and stupid comes out. If you're that lost maybe you should have taken the prereq. for the class or hey READ THE FREAKING BOOK!

Oops off topic once again... Back to the wonderfulness of internet classes. I like that if I'm bored I can get 3 weeks ahead in some classes and the others have alot of work to keep me busy. Thus keeping me sane!

I dont think I really knew what I was getting into I was like oh it'll take me five mins log on type some stuff and log back off DONE! NOPE! Reading and typing and debating and papers and quizes and writing programs and WOW I'm tired just thinking about it and I have to leave for my one actual on campus class that is 75 miles away YEAH I KNOW! I'm crazy for driving that far but thats the only school that has my major thats relatively close.... More on that later

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired...

I'm tired, like really really tired. I don't feel sick, but I can't sleep enough today... I feel lazy. Maybe I've just been too busy last week with school and Audra's wedding over the weekend...

Ohhhh... THE WEDDING... beautiful, but stressful I had no idea what was going on and neither did anyone else.... and Pat only took one picture.... but there's always facebook....

Today's kinda scrambled and I can't think straight, maybe tommorow

UGH!!!

I'm really annoyed with my lack of creativity. I haven't written in a LONG TIME. That bothers me. Is my life just that boring or have I fallen in to an I'm so busy with nothing to do slump.... I'll figure it out.

Anyways!

Went dress shopping last week for the wedding... I HAD NO CLUE HOW HEAVY WEDDING DRESSES ARE! Also, my lack of tatas dont help hold up 80 lb dresses (ok maybe exaggerating a little...)

In between now and the last time I posted I've been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia... (which doesn't pass spell check...). Its a type of chronic fatigue/pain syndrome and I'm hoping to find other people that know about it or have it to talk to. I've had it and known I had it for a while but finally after billions of tests I'm finally able to work on managing it. Fortuneatly it's not going to kill me but it's not going to go away either.... I have a hard time getting motivated to do things to keep it in check, like exercising and eating better. Any advice on low impact exercise programs would be awesome I'm supposed to do an hour a day (yeah redic right! haha). Its hard for Pat (the fiance) to understand that I'm just to tired or achy to do somthing... like when he comes home at 730 pm with a ton of mulch (not litteraly but there was a lot) and expects to mow, weed whack, and weed some more and mulch all by 830 when it gets dark..... I looked at him and laughed untill I realized he was serious and then weeded untill I could weed no more. He did finish most of it right after dark and it looks wonderful, I just wish I could have helped more.

But enough of that, school starts tommorow, well my internet classes do my other one starts Tuesday, I hate the long drive to campus so hopefully I like the internet classes and maybe transfer to a soley internet program like from ITT tech (email me if you've done this!) and hopefully eventually get a degree!

What Would You Do?

I just saw Heather Armstrong from Dooce on GMA speaking about mommy bloggers receiving products and money from companies to write about products on their blogs. I obviously am not a mommy blogger and won't be for atleast a few years, but I still have an opinion on this subject.

I have no problem accepting products sent to me for free to write about. My only condition is the companies fully understand that if their product truely sucks I will tell the world... ok the people who accidentally end up here, how I feel about the product.

Unfortunately, I have not been sent anything and I'm sure after that last comment I probably never will. Oh Well...

Also, my point of this post is, not that I'm suprised, but that Heather Armstrong had no problem saying she was against accepting perks from companies to promote their products. I'm thinking this is a very controversial issue among mommy bloggers, and I enjoy hearing different people's opinons on issues when they aren't bashing the other side just stating that this is why they do things this way (hers was preserving the trust of her audience).

I would enjoy free stuff, does that make me a sellout? What is your opinion?

Its a sad day...

Well, due to financial issues I've decided to downgrade and sell the flocus.... She was my first new car and its hard to get rid of her. She is a good car, never any problems, but shes expensive. It costs a little over 300 a month to keep her not counting gas.... If I buy the car Pat found for me it will be a little over 100 a month, or less depending on how much I get for the flocus, and better on gas.

I'm gonna miss her....

anyone with good advice? or that wants to buy the flocus shes an awesome car!

I'm Not Dead I Promise!

Hey all, I'm back again. The unemployed life does not give me a whole lot to write about.

Honestly, it gives me nothing to write about... I wake up smoke while letting the Gir (the dog) out. Sit around applying for work at home jobs... (any suggestions?). Take the occasional snack break, email my mom all day, and wait for Pat (formerly bf but since we're engaged now I'm using his name) to get home and usually spend the evening watching him play video games or just being random like we are.

Pat's car got flooded in a bad storm a couple of weeks ago and he has been driving mine (the Flocus). That's why I don't really leave the house. I finally got her back yesterday just in time for a doctors appointment and visiting my mom at work.

By the way my mom is just about as busy as I am but she gets paid to sit there and email me things all day. Her new topic "the wedding" so we haven't set a date and we haven't really decided on anything, we know it's next fall, THATS IT. That's not good enough she wants to know everything. Daily, and sometimes bi-daily she asks if we've decided on a date, or how many people, or colors, which we haven't. I'm hoping she'll stop asking me soon. She also emails me a lot of pictures of dresses which is nice but 37 in one day... I should start training for when we actually do go dress shopping and I actually have to try them on!

I'm still pretty lonely here and our favorite bar just closed which makes me really sad!

Like I said nothing to write about.... but if you've made it this far you read my messy nonsense anyways... lol alright time to find another snack!

HAHAHAHA!

Well, I guess I won't be texting my posts in anymore, thanks Adam for discovering my screw-up. Alot has happened in the last couple of weeks. BULLET POST!

• Well, Im engaged again... and I've never been happier, except for some reason his parents don't know yet... we have been busy so I'll give him that excuse.
• I applied for unemployment because I realized that no one is going to want to hire me if I'm going to have to work at the base for three weeks one month after I would start a job.... I wouldn't hire me either, but I can't not work.... I'm still looking because I'm going crazy being at home with Gir (the dog) all day.
• I had some sort of push inside of me today to go for a run untill I actually got out of bed and it was raining....
• I'm trying to quit smoking... I only had four yesterday and only one today so far... (Hence wanting to run to keep me from being bored and then smoking)

Thats all for now I may be back later.....

y spiffy phone I can tweet blog and read more often which makes me very happy! Later Dudes!

1 google phone and I love it except I can't get my school mail on it yet because its not a normal email address. I'll figure it out... Now that I have m

WooHoo for Wednesday! I know I thought my life was less complicated with out my blackberry but I couldn't stay away from smart phones. Now I have the g

Reading list!

After moving in with the bf I've started reading a lot because he has his video games that he plays for hours on end. I would play with him but... I can't seem to get the hang of moving these peeps around. They tend to get stuck on corners walls or ladders. Here is my list of books I have read in 2009. I'm not going to tell you about the books just how I enjoyed them. You should read them for yourself and if you have.... add some suggestions for next reading list additions.

1. The Last Lecture by: Randy Pauch


I'm pretty sure I wrote about this before. It was an amazing book. I get way too involved in books and this one was an emotional roller coaster. I read his childhood memories like they were my own, but I also read doctors advice like it was meant for me.







2. A Version of the Truth by: Jennifer Kaufman

This book sums up my feelings right now. No job, broke, no education, and no valuable experience (except for waiting tables for a good third of my life (ok not quite that much but almost)).










3., 4., 5., 6. The Twilight Series by: Stephanie Meyer


Yeah, I didn't want to read these because of the tween-teen obsession, I honestly figured they'd be dumb. Surprisingly, or not I couldn't put them down. I was obsessed and I told my bf about the books like I was on a first name basis with all of them (he was obsessed too always wanting to know what was going on, I couldn't talk him into reading them himself....)






7. Fearless Fourteen by: Janet Evanovich

I started reading this series my senior year of high school. I had two study halls and access to the "adult" section of the library. I knocked out the first eight or more pretty quickly. After I got busy with college I forgot how much I actually liked reading books and forgot about the series usually I'd catch up during the summer, and 15 is coming out soon. I'm excited you can bet that one will be #1 in my book swim book pool. I think I secretly wish I were Stephanie Plum. This was my first book rented from book swim and I must say I am pleased!




8. Waiter's Rant by: Steve Dublanica

I've just started this so I'll update this later it seems good though!

Uh Oh....

So, I've been off the last three weeks... Yes every Monday night for the last three weeks my boss has texted me and said they were slow this week and didn't need me to come in.

In short, technically I'm unemployed.... Driving from dinner with the bf's fam I saw a place that was hiring a pc technician. Had a 4 1/2 hour working interview (that's what i was nervous/excited about last week) only to find out that they only wanted to hire me temporarily because I would have to be off for three weeks for my yearly time to work at the base.

I'm still technically unemployed.

No one will hire me because I need time off in the first two months of working. I wouldn't hire me either.

This causes me to start to get depressed. Which upsets me even more because I've been doing so well I've thought that all these changes in my life had made my depression and anxiety go away. I guess all it takes is one little blip of problems makes it come back. I've noticed my hands shaking more often so I'm just waiting for the total meltdown to come.

Hopefully I'll stop this soon I have to I refuse to fall back into the black hole again

Sorry for bring back the bitchy rantings, I had to!

PS. I got my book swim shipment the other day and I finished the first one in a day. I may be in love with it!

AWESOME BOOK THING!!

I love to read. I had gotten away from it for a while. Then my boyfriend had given me Randy Pauch's last lecture. After that, I got into the Twilight series, which I was hesitant about but ended up LOVING! Last night I went to my parents to visit and my mom suggested Book Swim. Its like Netflix or the Blockbuster service where you subscribe and they send you books. I just subscribed to the light reader service where they send you three books and then when you are done with the first two you sent those two back and then read the remaining one while they send you two more! Hopefully this goes well I'll keep you all updated!

Girls Night Out!

Last night I had mentioned to the BF that I might have to plan a girls night out with some friends that don't live really close to us. That didn't go well, in his defense he just didn't want to be home alone all night if I would stay on a friends couch which I COMPLETELY understand BUT THIS IS...


His definition of GIRLS NIGHT OUT: You get all dressed up, and then wasted, and then end up sleeping on some random persons couch possibly "sleeping with" some random dude. Also that its just not what people in serious relationships do.

WHAT?!?!?!

MY definition of GIRLS NIGHT OUT: You get all dressed up, have a few margaritas, (if we happen to get wasted it happens but wasn't a "goal")and talk about things like dudes or things that dudes don't want to talk about.


WARNING GROSS (read at your own risk):








CASE IN POINT DOG EATING WHOLE USED TAMPONS. Yes it really happened and no I haven't went through the yard to find said tampons. With my friends this story would definitely come out after a few margaritas.






OK SAFE!



So I ask everyone out there, even if you don't usually visit here, even if you just searched the above Gross out case, WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF GIRLS/GUYS NIGHT OUT?

Ok.....

So, I can't tell you all what I'm doing today because it might cause problems with other areas of my life but, if all goes well I'll probably be incredibly excited. If not, sort of depressed. So, I guess, wish me luck... on doing what ever I'm doing today... I REALLY WISH I COULD TELL YOU... I need to vent!

...First and last time I'll ever say I NEED ESTROGEN!

So, I love living with my boyfriend. He makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. My job situation is difficult, and I had the entire week off this week. I've been alone in the house all week. I've tried to keep myself busy, I EVEN BAKED A PIE. I NEED TO FIND FRIENDS AROUND HERE!

And then it hit me...


Without the college atmosphere, I don't know how to make friends normally. I'm not going to ask the cashier at the gas station if she wants to go shopping some time (even though I can see us being friends). It's not like we don't go out because we do but all the girls at the bar seem kind of skanky... if you know what I mean not people I really want to be friends with.

Life was so much easier when you could ask someone to borrow their crayon and then we're bffs the next day.

What is "Perfect" really?

So I found this here and decided to do it rather than be completely bored at work

• The perfect outfit: Jeans, Cute shirt, and my FAVE black Heels....
• The perfect meal: .... DON'T LAUGH! 1/2lb beef and cheese burrito from taco bell w/ NACHOS!
• The perfect hangover cure: see above... JK Double cheeseburger, Sweet tea, and small fry, oh and naps
• The perfect road trip: ...I don't know but I'd like to go so get ahold of me lol
• The perfect facial feature: Eyes definitely
• The perfect drink: Sweet Tea
• The perfect song: hummmm I don't know, I have music ADD so I doubt I'll ever have an answer for that one
• The perfect sign of affection: The BF will just stare at me when he wants a kiss... I promise its not creepy lol :)
• The perfect afternoon: Drinking... SWEET TEA and reading in the sun!
• The perfect vacation: Does a deployment count as a vacation because if so it was definitely going to Guam, AMAZING
• The perfect invention: post-it notes.... they make my day! :)
• The perfect type of wedding: Small, large groups of people whether I know them or not make me nervous
• The perfect album: Once again music ADD
• The perfect accent: Australian DEFINITELY
• The perfect date: something outside... like a walk or dinner on a patio of some sort?
• The perfect weather: 88 and sunny!
• The perfect party: I love the "small group of friends each with their own case of whatever" nights, they always end up with the best inside jokes!
• The perfect sport: Volleyball, I miss it
• The perfect thing to say: lol "Hey.... I love you" that always fixes whatever mood I'm in
• The perfect day of the week: Saturday!

Happy Hump Day Y'ALL!

Feelin the burn!

Oh boy so the bf and I started the P90X work out program. First day shoulders and back and abs. Second day plyometrics (which is baaaaad for my hip flexors....). Today I'm not sure but I'm scared.... I have a problem with the in between stages of standing up or sitting down. If all my weight is on my bum then I'm fine if all my weight is on my feet I'm fine but its that weird in between movement that is KILLING ME. I enjoy working out but having to spend the rest of the day on the couch with the heating pad on my hips isn't worth it. I may find something else to do when plyometrics comes up next time.

Sloooow

So, trying to be thrifty... as usual.... the boyfriend and I decided to get a wireless modem from our cell phone company, Cricket. It seemed like an AMAZING idea until I had to download Office 2007 to get homework done for tomorrow. It took 6 hours to download 506MB. REDIC! We're definitely going to have to find another way of getting the Internet before my two Internet classes start in the fall...

FUN!!!

So, I found this fun thing here (love her). So here goes





DIRECTIONS:

- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture from the first page.
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.

QUESTIONS:

1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

My answers:
1. Ashley
2. BBQ
3. Karns City
4. Pink
5. Crash
6. Strawberry Lemonade
7. Greece
8. Turtle Cookies
9. Spunky
10. Bored
11. Living
12. Computer Forensics Analyst

My Oh My!

Woah guys,

I haven't disappeared, I just haven't had anything to write about for over a month...

I started this blog to document my life, sort of like a journal. That didn't happen. It turned into a place to complain about everything that annoyed, to infurriated me. I'm thinking that thats probably not somthing somone wants to read about every day, but thats not why I wrote... I wrote to get it all out, I'm a feeling bottler and it felt soooo much better to let it out here than deal with confrontations with people.

I am currently out of the feeling bottling business, hence the negletion of the blog. I'm happy now, and this amazes me because I've NEVER been a happy person.

Its not just the new bf, not just not living with my parents, not just being in a major that I completley love, it's everything, I see myself as a whole different person now, and finally I actually like this person.

So, I'm sorry if I go a while with out posting I'll try my best, (it's a lot harder without the blackberry) and I'm really excited to start posting about GOOD things instead of how horrible/f'ed up my life is!

Unconnected

I GOT RID OF MY BLACKBERRY! Downside.... I don't have 24/7 access to all my stuff as easy as I used to. UPSIDE!!! $50 a month compared to $120 yessss I will show all of those corporate assholes I'M NOT PAYING!!!! and My phones green!

Random Thoughts From This week

This is going to be a sort of bullet post just warning you now...

-Monday- Driving to work I see a company van that has "terrible tile" on the side...
Immediately I made the connection between "TERRIBLE TOWEL" and "terrible tile" like any burgher would and yes it is a cute play on words but... There is no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that I am hireing someone who called their company "Terrible Tile"

-Monday still - At work-Mom has been sick and emailed me that dad said that her problem could be a pocket of blood that formed after a surgery a couple of months ago and if it burst she wouldn't make it to the hospital... GOOD GOING DAD STRESSING EVERYONE OUT(love you daddy!)... (shes ok she had tests done Tuesday and Wednesday and, no if she runs into the kitchen counter I will not be mom-less)

-Tuesday- At school- I was walking down the hall way to my 11 o'clock class and overhear two nursing students talking to each other. One obviously pregnant the other probably not.... Not Preggers to Obvi Preggers: "I saw your ultrasound yesterday and your uterus is SOOOOOOO cute!".... I understand that they're nursing students but I don't care how medically knowledgeable I am, I am NEVER! going to tell a friend she has a cute uterus maybe cute fetus or what ever they're called at whatever stage but not cute uterus....

-Wednesday- The central blood bank has been calling me for a month now... So, I bit the bullet and decided to answer their call and go in and donate blood... Not realizing on the same day I was scheduled to go get my second round of the Guardasil shot... No big deal take some blood out put some medicine in right? NOT! 20 minutes after getting my shot and 1 hr after giving blood I felt wasted. Not like oh I've had one or two I'll stop now because I have to drive, I'm talking full blown falling over, incoherent, wtf is going on wasted. Good thing the lovely bf didn't have to work and drove me. If not the flocus would have been smashed somewhere along the turnpike and there would be no more me....

I'm sure something intersting will happen today who knows my life has a tendancy to be boring on occasion....

WOW

Happy St. Patty's Day Everyone Out There!

A quick funny before I get down to business. As you might (or might not) already know my mom and I email back and forth most of the day. So we were emailing today and I said that I wanted to go have some green beer to celebrate being Irish. Well, mom being the lack of a drinker she is (I'm possibly going to disown her for what I'm going to say next) she said, "EWWWWW green beer! Not for me, why is it green OMG IS IT MOLDY!"... Yes she realy said that...


On to other crazy things my mom says. I don't stay at home that much any more I'm mosty at my boyfriends or I dont get home untill after they go to bed. So, they (meaning my parents) keep talking about how they are going to move in two years when my brother graduates, which is fine with me I hope to be well on my own by then but they keep mentioning it like they want me to take a hint or somthing. AND THEN! Later last night mom and I are talking about me putting money in savings for car emergencies, computer emergencies, MY OWN HOUSE, and A WEDDING! I'm not sure if shes trying to drop some serious hints or if she's just making simple conversation, but it scares the hell out of me.


My one friend said I should talk to her about it but I feel like I'm just making somthing huge out of simple conversation. What do you think?

I'm pretty sure there's not enough tea in china to make me feel better. I'm glad that I didn't have any crazy spring break plans I can't imagine being stuck in a foreign place miserable. Another thing that makes me miserable is not having the interenet at the boyfriends. I'm going to give you a few seconds to let that sink in, yes my boyfriend does not have the internet. He did at one time have the internet but his ex took the computer so there was no need until I fixed up an older crashed computer with a new hard drive. Hopefully this will push him to get it because I love him and I would spend more time here if he had the internet so I could do my homework. What a girl does for love....

P.s. This is the first time I've posted from my phone so well see if I like this
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Busy Busy Busy

I've been sooo busy lately an when I'm not busy I'm playing wii fit! My sister was in Cabaret with one of the wii fit models OMG was she ripped... so I thought it might work for me... we'll see. Back to tweeting (my brother is on twitter!!! he just doesn't remember his password GO FIGURE!) and watching Ghost Hunters International!

WOW

So I've been complaining to myself how I never get a chance to blog. But looking at google analytics I haven't ever had anyone read my blog ever... (I'm thinking I didn't put the code in right... GO FIGURE!) Now I don't believe it because I have comments from some awesome people. Sometimes, I believe it because I wouldn't read a blog that posts MAYBE once a week so I'll try to get better... and I'm now a twitterer I guess... I still haven't figured the whole thing out...

ANYWAYS...

Boyfriend wants me to move in...

I'm not sure how to feel about this
On one hand I get all little girl excited and giggly...
On the other... I makes me a little panicky

He doesn't think that moving in with someone is all that serious, I don't really know what to think....

any opinions?

Public appology

To my blogger valentine,

I am really sorry that I have not yet sent you your valentine. My life got really hectic last week with the fam being out of town for a death in the family and well school being school and before I knew it I was waiting for 2 hours in Red Lobster with the bf for our valentines day dinner and it hit me! OH SHIT Babe I need to go to the post office NOW!!! and of course he laughed at me as he always does when I have my (all too random) freak outs and said Why?, Ash, Its 7 on a Saturday its closed just go on Monday you have off. So I explained and a little confused because hes not in to the whole technology thing (he doesn't have the Internet, OR A COMPUTER) so other than going through geek withdrawals when I'm with him I'm basically cut off from the techie world So until noon on Monday when I was watching the news and they told me that the Post Offices were closed because of some crazy holiday I forgot about (which is horrible but being with the bf is like being on vacation for me.) So in short because I'm in school all day and have two tests (that I didn't study for) I PROMISE I will send it tomorrow because I have all week off because my boss had twins (well his wife did but I guess he's sorta involved or something lol)

Love,
Ashley

Winter Blahs

I'm not sure if I've made it completely clear yet but I hate winter, I hate being cold, and I DEFINITELY hate snow! Usually I am more depressed in the winter, but I think that month I spent on a tropical island made it worse.

I've been in this mood where I feel like I'm not really a person, I'm just around like a machine or something. I go to work sleep go to school sleep go to work do homework and so on until I go to the boyfriends where I feel like I'm on vacation because I feel like its still too good to be true. I never find guys this good, but on to the other half of my usual week I feel like I have no purpose. I go to work where I'm not really needed (sort of scary in this economy.) Then I'm going to school but after being a junior at another college and then starting all over again I feel like I'm getting nowhere I could be looking for awesome internships for next year and instead I'm taking classes again that start with 1 and none of my classes are challenging at all. I'm just in a rut and hopefully I'll break out of it soon hopefully while I have the next week off of work because my boss had twins! Oh well off to my last class for the day...

Blogging in class Again...

Sooo I'm sitting in class, I'm so bored I've checked facebook myspace and read everything in my reader.... Then I remembered HEY I HAVE A BLOG not that I forgot.... Just that when it comes to doing things regularly I have a tendency to let them slip my mind every once in a while (ex. why I suck at taking the pill (and it makes me sick)).

Oh yeah, tried taking the pill again... Made me depressed the first week, sick the second week, and gave me migraines this week. So... I quit taking it... I KNOW its bad but when the bf and I choose not to behave ourselves we are more that "careful" (tmi?). I just can't handle taking birth control I had the nuva ring (all questions welcome(I'm used to it)) and loved it but it gave me migraines but didn't realize it until I had forgotten to get my prescription filled and skipped it for a month (yes again I know bad Ashley!) But that months visit from aunt Flo was probably the most pleasant... if that's possible. Does any out here have any other ideas for "secondary" birth control other than the medicine type?

Also, as I'm sitting here typing this my dad is texting me about the power being out at home because of the wind storms here's how the convo goes hope you enjoy his caveman texting as much as I do

Dad: Power out
Me: At home or school
Dad: Yes
Me: Well theres power at school now so I'm guessing at home hopefully it'll be on when I get home at 10 pm
Dad: Y generator later

I'm guessing that means yes I'm buying a generator later.... but who knows with him lol I love my daddy!

Still awake...

So I've gotten very comfortable staying at bf's house on the weekends. So much so that when I come home after a long day at school I can't sleep. It's come to my attention that I am not able to fall asleep when in a bed by myself at any decent hour... I get really depressed and go into irrational 5 year old mode. I bawled for a good 2 hours and I've finally got it together enough to write a post along with texting the ex... WHY because I'm in irrational 5 year old mode... Its almost like I'm drunk.... or PMS-ing... but I'm not doing either I'm emotional, inconsolable, immature, and I'm sure there's a whole long list of other things but I haven't come to terms with those yet...

hopefully,
Good Night

2 yes i said 2 self proclaimed snow days in a row

So.... yeah living in the middle of nowhere has its positives... but it also has its downsides. When you live in the middle of nowhere you never get to leave your house when it snows/ices butt loads. I guess the local/state/federal(?) governments believe that us hicks "ain't got nowhere to go!" Yes we have 4 wheel drive vehicles that can go in the snow I guess maybe when I bought my little focus I should have thought about that. OH WELL It gives me an excuse to stay home from work and school for 2 days!!! and what a wonderful two days they were.... I did some laundry and some much needed room cleaning (mostly unpacking from Guam!)(yes I am aware of my laziness) and the new BF came to visit yesterday (he's crazy for going all that way in the snow but hey he loves me!
and that's about it for today!

I think I'm over reacting but...

So, I'm sitting here furiously texting the bf about my horrible day (and it was only 9:30) and I decide to venture to google reader for some relief. I saw a few posts that made me giggle... (like this one from Bex . (I wish my roommates would leave me presents like that... but for the time being I'm living with my parents SO... yeah not happening.)) Then I came along this one which really started me thinking...

(If you don't want to read a huge amount of my mind wandering... scroll to the last paragraph... yeah... its one of those)

Yes, I still feel new to blogging, but other than the few from or about Guam, 99.9% of my posts are random rantings about everyday troubles that everyone has. Most of the time I am A O K with that but lately I have also been thinking about how, in high school, I used to take pride in my writing. It was one of my many gifts I am thankful to have received from some sort of higher being or just the luck of the draw. I loved writing, dancing, and plain being alive. Granted there were the typical heartbreaks and disappointments that fueled a ton of musings, but the works that came from the "good times" were always my best.

I guess my question is does my writing suck because I'm angrier or am I angrier because my writing sucks.... just kidding. Why is it that I haven't grown as a writer even though I've taken great strides as a person. Maybe, I've found things that are easier outlets for expression (including but not limited to screaming old Back Street Boys, or any, songs in my car.)

In short I think what i am saying is, I'm disappointed in my blog. I feel like its more of a journal than something for others to read, or even for me to be proud of.... Or maybe I'm just having a bad day? Oh well its Friday, I'm going tanning and then to the BF's for the weekend so it should be good despite the fact that we both have drill.

...and it just got a little better when the rather attractive FedEx guy came in...

First day at the community college

OK so I've accepted that going to this school is a good thing for me.  Its not that I couldn't handle classes at SRU, and Its not that I wanted to live at home, its just better for me.

That being said... WHAT A FIRST DAY!

Class 1

Micro Computing Applications

So this class is about the office programs Power point, Excel, and Access.

I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE WHY DO I HAVE TO TAKE IT AGAIN YOU HAVE MY FREAKING TRANSCRIPTS!!!!

...whew that feels better...

Class 2

Intro To Business

I know the teacher... he doesn't recognize me... I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not...

SIDE STORY:

I used to work at this shitty daycare in slippery rock in the fall of 2007.  The lady was a mess A REAL MESS.  She had me fill out paper work for my clearances (which are required to work with children in PA and I'm sure damn near everywhere) and she NEVER TURNED THEM IN.  I worked there for 6 months with no clearances.  Luckily I quit before the state came and shut her down because she had let her State in home daycare certification expire, or i would have been in DEEP SHIT.  She never paid us on time ... or sometimes in my case at all.  Debt collectors would call all the time, also the electric was almost turned off because she hadn't paid the bill, but another girl and I pleaded with the guy that came because of the kids being there and all. 

Note to anyone who has or will have kids CHECK OUT YOUR DAYCARES THOROUGHLY!

BACK TO THE REAL STORY

His daughter was adorable but cried a lot especially at nap time.

ALSO, there's a girl i used to coach in cheer leading (god i feel old ).

Class 3 

Linux

For those of you who don't know what Linux is its an open source operating system (like windows) but free and easier to work with because you can get fixes and such  FO FREE!

The people in my class are pretty much all night dwellers that never leave their computers because they're constantly playing crazy games like with gnomes, elves, nymphs and shit I don't know they re just the type that are confused when a girl walks into a room because they don't know what to say ( mean i know, I'm a tech geek but these kids are BAAAAAAD)

Class 4 

PC Management

about taking apart and putting together computers

EASY! i did this stuff in high school..... 

SUMMARY : This is going to be a long boring uncomfortable semester....

 

1 good thing

Eating lunch with Amber a girl from SRU that i love!!! that also goes to bc3 

1 other bad thing

 3 hour break before my night class HORRIBLE

Still bored

So... I'm sitting here waiting for my bosses to get out of a meeting. So one can look at stuff before I send it out. Eventhough I probably won't send it out today because I'm leaving in 45 mins.

I've had self proclaimed A.D.D. all day. I think it's because I'm going out for Tacos and Margaritas later!!!

I can't wait I've missed my girls sooo much and I saw some on saturday but I'll most likley see everyone tonight and then... back here tommorow Oh Ew..... then to the vagina doctor.... is that time of the month a bad time to go to the vagina doctor... I didn't really think about that.... EEK!!!

Back to work

Ok, Today is my first day back at work...

I have NOTHING to do

I was gone a month and a half....

Does this mean I'm not needed?

Kinda scary

AHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm used to not sleeping so I'm not sure if my time zones are still screwed up or if its normal....
I'll get really tired and try to go to sleep but then out of nowhere I can't sleep if my life depended on it IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! Its been happening since I got back. Usually I won't get to sleep until late as in after midnight and then I'll wake up anywhere between 4am and 6am and I'll be tired all day but I'm afraid taking naps will make it worse.

Any advice?

I've tried eating tons of carbs which usually work but no such luck....

and I don't think its the anxiety I'm pretty happy, unless its my subconscious still feeling bad for the ex-fiance

I'm dreading going back to work I can only imagine the pile of to dos on my desk is HUGE!!! but i do miss it but Monday is still going to suck

I think I'm starting to get tired ADD is setting in.... OBVIOUSLY

Until We Meet Again Loves!!!

Not, not dating

So,  I was engaged.... but wasn't happy.  It was one of those things where I was waiting for things to get better and as usual they didn't.  After being in Guam for umm 3 days I realized that I was happier there than I had been since we got back  together.  

So,  I broke it off..... 

Probably the hardest thing I've ever done IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.  Luckily all of my family and friends have been amazingly supportive and made it a lot easier on me.  

I had made my decision while in Guam and a week or so after, I met someone.  We pretty much couldn't stay away from each other It was awesome.  I still felt guilty because technically I was still engaged because I couldn't break up with Chris over the phone because I felt that was really rude.  So when people would ask what is going  on between us we would reply were not not dating. 

I'm  not going to lie,  a tropical island is an awesome place to meet someone!!!!

IM BACK!!!

Hey guys Im back sorry I didn't write much while I was on deployment in GUAM I'm missing the 80 degree days and going to the beach every day and my nose started running as soon as the plane landed but i'll get to stories later i'm humgry